R.I.P SSG Pitts

On July 4th, the world lost a good man. On a day when fireworks and bbq's are on top of the list, one family is grieving. I wouldn't expect less of him though, we always knew he would go out with a bang! The fourth of July was his favorite holiday. Steve has been suffering from cancer for a few months before he passed away. He was a very dear friend to us. My husband was lucky to have served with him during OIF III. It was a very sad day for us and for his family.

May you rest in peace Steve. You will be missed.

Happy Anniversary My Dear...

Dear E:

Two years ago today, we said I do. In those two years, there have been many changes in our lives. We've overcome so much already and all I can say to you now is thank you. Thank you for loving me the way you always have - no pretensions, no gimmicks. You love me the way only you can, yet it's genuine. I never have any doubts when you say I love you. Thank you for sticking it out when the going got tough. I'm here with you for as long as you'll let me...hand in hand, you and I.

Happy Anniversary! :)

Sibling Love

From the moment Joey learned how to walk, the only person he always wanted to be with is his brother. He will follow him everywhere and he tries to copy his every move. I love seeing the two of them just hanging out - especially when you hear laughter...lots and lots of laughter.



I've been blessed to have such amazing sons. Times like these melts a mother's heart. It definitely melted mine!

Happy Saturday! (late post)

It's been raining like crazy here, so to beat the cabin fever my kiddies decided to "draw". Jordan has always had a knack for drawing and Joey seems like he wants to follow his brother's foot steps. They look so adorable when they play together. I've always wondered what I was thinking having children with such a huge age gap, but when I see them together I don't wonder so much anymore.

It's officially summer time in the Cebula Household. School is out and it's time to make plans. We're thinking about going to New Orleans to see my family. And since its summer we're planning on staying for a month. Just me and the kids. Eddie has to work :(

I'm dreading the heat though. It's been 4 years since I've lived the summer days of New Orleans...

But we're hopeful that it won't be so bad. We're excited!!!

Rebirth...

Two years ago, I was still working 40 hour work weeks and going to school full time, missing my husband, my Jordan and carrying a small miracle in my tummy, and wishing that I could live a life that was more fulfilling, rather than draining. And finally, after having been rushed to the hospital because of pre-eclampsia and giving birth to a micro preemie, I took the leap, and left my “work life” for a life of domestic bliss. I wanted to live a life of domesticity and creativity.

It hasn't always been easy. I've made several mistakes along the way: I've taken freelance gigs that seemed too good to be true (and were); I worried about our personal budget, and worried about the "recession". I’ve sacrificed a great deal of independence (financially) so that I may be available to my family whenever and however they need me. I’ve taken “shots” from people who do not believe in “stay at home Moms” or people who’ve tried to convince me that my little baby is good enough to go to daycare. But through it all, despite it all, I'm still here -- and frankly, happier than ever. And it turns out, two years later, there's one very important thing that I've learned, the one thing which, really, I always knew on a subconscious level, but have come to really consciously appreciate:

Intuition is a powerful thing.

In the past year, I've come to the unshakable belief that we have all the answers. Each of us does. That within us, if we just stop and listen, there is enough guidance to let us know whether the path we're about to take is the right one for ourselves. That if we all just take a moment to quiet our minds and listen to our hearts, we'll know exactly what to do.

That the secret to rebirth, to turning into exactly what we're meant to be is to just be still and listen. It's not always easy, but it is possible. It just takes practice. I'm not perfect at it, but I am getting there.

And believe me, if I can do it, so can you.

And to close, here's to learning to listen to our inner voices. May we all become as great as we were all meant to be.

My Wish Today...

I have been blessed with two of the most wonderful children in the world – both boys! And I love them very much. Lately though, I have been craving for a little girl. I don’t know what it is…I’m terrified of being pregnant again, especially now at my age and after having gone through what I did the last time around.

But today, all of those fears weren’t present. I was overcome with emotion as I walked past all these little frilly things for little girls. Somehow I think every mother should have at least one daughter.

My relationship with my mother is amazing! The older I get, the more I understand her. Don’t get me wrong, we fight! Oh do we ever?!!? But I wouldn’t trade my Mom for anything in this world. She and I have a bond that no one can break.

I want a smart, beautiful, compassionate, head strong and inquisitive daughter. I want a daughter who’s a version of me, minus the insecurities. I want a daughter who is me, only more beautiful inside and out. I want a daughter who has my husband’s kind heart and beautiful green eyes.


I want a daughter who can kick ass yet remain refined and poised. I want someone who will challenge me as much as my boys do.

That is my wish today.

I wish to have a chance to get pregnant again, to have a smooth flawless pregnancy, to hear “it’s a girl” nine months down the road.

I simply want a chance to raise a daughter.

But when I get pregnant and it’s a boy – well, that’s ok too.

NYC for the day...

I will write some more tomorrow and post some pics. We spent the day in NYC. MY brother, my sister in law and the two kiddies.

I swear, everytime I visit that place, I fall more and more in love with it. good night and see you all tomorrow!

Happy 2nd Birthday Little One!

2009 brought me...a teenager...and now a 2 year old....Much as I hate to admit it, I'm nervous. I feel nostalgic when birthdays come around. It's hard for me to imagine that two years ago today, my life was hanging on a balance. My first son was at school and my husband was changing duty stations when the doctors came in my room and said the most horrifying words I've ever heard. "We need to take the baby out, you're not gonna make it." I was afraid. All I could do was cry, a lot. Then I prayed, a lot. I was scared for Jordan if I didn't make it. I was scared for my husband because I didn't think I would make it in time. I was scared that I wouldn't have another chance to tell them how much I love them.

Against all odds, my husband made it in the operating room. Two hours and 45 minutes later, I became a Mommy all over again. I was glad that I made it. But my baby was very tiny. Very fragile. This time I cried for him. His prognosis was a bit grim. He only weighed 1 lb., 14 oz. - he fit comfortably in the palm of my hands. I've never seen a baby this tiny in my whole life.

We spent many many nights at the NICU.

We took him home from the hospital 3 months later - and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He was only 4 lbs when he came home but he didn't need any special treatment (oxygen, heart monitor, etc). His doctor said - "He just wanted to come out! He wanted to see the world."
And so the world, we will show him.
Every year he celebrates his birthday, I think of all the doctors and nurses who took very good care of him. And my family who supported me and who continued to pray for all of us while we were going through this. Thank you all.


Happy Birthday Little Man - we went through a lot you and I. You inspire all of us every day. We love you and may you have many many more birthdays to come!

How May I Serve You, my 13-year old Royal Highness

I thank my parents for letting me live. I have recently acquired a teenager!
Happy 13th Birthday Jordan!

Good Day Everyone!

I think I am finally getting the hang of this. I have so much to say but sometimes I just don't know how to say it. I started getting the idea to blog when I found so many sites that I read through all day long - they've inspired me, made me laugh, and have even gotten a few ideas from. Somehow no matter the distance, we all seem to find each other. We as human beings, connect in different forms. I guess I can use this blog as a tool to update my family about the goings on here up North, or I can perhaps use this blog to share my thoughts to someone who might just be searching for something to make them laugh and inspire them. Although, I must warn you, I'm not a good joke teller. My captive audience ranges from ages 2-5...yeah sad I know. Worst yet, most of the time, I am the only one laughing!

So yeah, have fun with this, I know I will. :)

BLOGSPERIENCE

It amazes me that "blogging" is so popular!I've oftened been asked why I blog...and what's the point. The point is simple. I journal (online) because I have something to say. (and writing in a journal hurts my hands...LOL). And what else do I really have to do in my every day life besides taking care of my family, cooking, cleaning, laundry! LOL. I've been writing my every day happenings since I was 16 years old. I have tons of notebooks I've collected over the years. I started journaling for the mere purpose of "letting it all out". Venting out my frustrations so that I may see it before I speak it. I hated saying unkind words and yelling and confrontation. So I wrote everything I could possibly be pissed off about. But then, I find that all I ever write was the bad stuff. I asked myself, what about the good things in your life? Are they not worth writing about....so... I did. So for those who have asked me...WHY DO YOU BLOG? Here it is.I journal to remind myself of the good stuff in my life. I journal to count my blessings, to celebrate what's working, to remember where the color is, where the joy is, who I love, what I'm learning. I journal to work out the tough stuff, to feel less alone and exorcise the demons. I journal to make an offering of my life. I journal so that someone else might feel less alone or be inspired or feel connected.I journal to feel connected.I journal to share myself and my life. I journal because I want to create a habit of celebrating. I journal to remind myself and others that the world is full of beauty, often tucked away in the most ordinary and unlikely places.I journal to remind myself that there is beauty everywhere.I journal because it helps me to practice seeing.

Hello...

My Daily Square. That's how I refer to my family. There are four of us - we make a square. :) yeah clever I know. LOL.

Welcome to my blog.