Grateful

During stressful crappy days like today - this sight, always makes me happy. There was a time in my life that I didn't even think about having kids, much less two. I certainly didn't want to have them this far apart. But, I am lucky - for I have been graced with two wonderful children who always seems to make me laugh just as I am about to explode.

TOO FUNNY TO FORGET:
Joey and I were looking at a magazine and he saw a girl eating watermelon, so he says, with such gusto "LOOK MOMMY, SHE'S EATING WATERLEMON"...haha

I see you...

Perhaps he has my genes! I have a photographer in training...LOL

Looking at the Bright Side...

I've had quite a few challenges this past few weeks. You know the kind. The ones that bring you to your knees, the ones that make you question your faith. I've had to think about what's truly important and if we all could actually live with just that. There was a time when money wasn't an issue. We were never wealthy, but we were comfortable. We went out to eat, we went to the movies any time we wanted, traveled, bought things we didn't need. I don't think we were careless with our money, but we sure didn't "pinch". After a while, money gets depleted and you're left with the coming paycheck. I have been searching for a job for seven months now and to my dismay, nothing. I get answered with "thank you for the application but...." or "we can't consider you because your required salary is higher than what we are currently offering".
I've had to sit down and re-evaluate everything that's happening in this household. From our budget, to our goals, to everything I can possibly think of. I was very upset for a while. So I prayed.
I pray everyday, anywhere, anytime. I believe that my faith has carried me through the most difficult times in my life. I am human and sometimes, I break. But through it all, my faith has always kept me afloat. I started to think that perhaps the reason why I am going through this difficult time right now is to realize that "there are a lot of people worse off than I am". Maybe its to make me realize that I have everything I've ever needed and I was blinded by all the material things I could achieve with money. I asked myself "did the money truly make me happy or happier?" NO. It covered us with material things and thats about it. The only good thing that money ever did for me was the opportunity to help my parents when they needed it. That was it.
I've had to reevaluate my life and everything that surrounds me. Things happen for a reason. Perhaps the reason why I can't find a job is because I already have the ultimate job in the world, I am a mother. Perhaps the reason why we are going through financial difficulty is to test our faith and our bond as a family. After all, I have everything I need. My faith in God only magnifies that. I am still very blessed. And each time I see my children, I am reaffirmed of what God can do. My children are the light of my life and God gave them to me, because He loves me.
I am still blessed and I am favored by God.

Future Model?

I guess he's gotten so used to me taking so many pictures of him that posing comes naturally now. LOL.

Weekend of Fun and a 14 Year Old...

It's amazing to me how fast time flies! I have a 14 year old! WOW. This weekend, we celebrated Jordan's birthday. We've been anticipating this "party" for weeks. The question of, "Jordan, how many people are coming?" was an everyday occurrence since we all agreed to have a party for him. The answer is always "I don't know, maybe 50" and of course I go, "Uh no! Too many people!" And so the conversation always ends up with "But Mom....."

Anyway, 17 showed up! Oddly, they were all very well behaved teenagers who found joy in water balloons, wrestling in the backyard, pizza and Friday the 13th! Eddie and I kept an eye on them all day and night.

It was fun watching them. Especially Jordan - he had the most amazing time. It was great to be reminded how fun it is to be young.

Happy Birthday Jordan! May you never be too old to play with water balloons and for me to buy you silly things! I love you.

Going mobile...Lets see how this works! :)

Beautiful Spring Day...

I keep telling myself that I am gonna get better at this blogging thing. Somehow I am always falling short. Ugh! I wish I could get myself organized long enough to actually gather my thoughts and put them down on this blog. Fact is, my days are always crazy busy. My days are filled with unforgettable things my children are doing or something sweet my husband is saying. I want to write them down. I want to document them and perhaps occasionally attach a picture. But again, by the time this house is actually quiet long enough for me to have time to write - I AM EXHAUSTED. At around 10ish, I usually run around the house and almost always end up IN MY BEDROOM. Then I fall into the inviting sight of my king size bed and my huge pillows that screams COME, BASK IN THE GLORY OF SWEET SLUMBER! And temptation always gets me.

I would lie down for a few seconds, thinking I have so much to write on my blog. I'm gonna get up in a few minutes to my computer and type away.

Then the alarm goes off at 5:00 am. It's a new day!

Perhaps, I will try again today....

BLACK AND GOLD SUPERBOWL

Wow! What an exciting game it was. For the first time in franchise history, the Saints is going to the Superbowl! I have never felt so excited to watch an NFL game in my life. It was very deserving! They have an amazing team. I still can't believe how calm Coach Peyton was during the entire game. I have never been so happy to have taken my blood pressure medicine! Ha!

Goodluck in Miami and Bless you boys!!!

R.I.P SSG Pitts

On July 4th, the world lost a good man. On a day when fireworks and bbq's are on top of the list, one family is grieving. I wouldn't expect less of him though, we always knew he would go out with a bang! The fourth of July was his favorite holiday. Steve has been suffering from cancer for a few months before he passed away. He was a very dear friend to us. My husband was lucky to have served with him during OIF III. It was a very sad day for us and for his family.

May you rest in peace Steve. You will be missed.

Happy Anniversary My Dear...

Dear E:

Two years ago today, we said I do. In those two years, there have been many changes in our lives. We've overcome so much already and all I can say to you now is thank you. Thank you for loving me the way you always have - no pretensions, no gimmicks. You love me the way only you can, yet it's genuine. I never have any doubts when you say I love you. Thank you for sticking it out when the going got tough. I'm here with you for as long as you'll let me...hand in hand, you and I.

Happy Anniversary! :)

Sibling Love

From the moment Joey learned how to walk, the only person he always wanted to be with is his brother. He will follow him everywhere and he tries to copy his every move. I love seeing the two of them just hanging out - especially when you hear laughter...lots and lots of laughter.



I've been blessed to have such amazing sons. Times like these melts a mother's heart. It definitely melted mine!

Happy Saturday! (late post)

It's been raining like crazy here, so to beat the cabin fever my kiddies decided to "draw". Jordan has always had a knack for drawing and Joey seems like he wants to follow his brother's foot steps. They look so adorable when they play together. I've always wondered what I was thinking having children with such a huge age gap, but when I see them together I don't wonder so much anymore.

It's officially summer time in the Cebula Household. School is out and it's time to make plans. We're thinking about going to New Orleans to see my family. And since its summer we're planning on staying for a month. Just me and the kids. Eddie has to work :(

I'm dreading the heat though. It's been 4 years since I've lived the summer days of New Orleans...

But we're hopeful that it won't be so bad. We're excited!!!

Rebirth...

Two years ago, I was still working 40 hour work weeks and going to school full time, missing my husband, my Jordan and carrying a small miracle in my tummy, and wishing that I could live a life that was more fulfilling, rather than draining. And finally, after having been rushed to the hospital because of pre-eclampsia and giving birth to a micro preemie, I took the leap, and left my “work life” for a life of domestic bliss. I wanted to live a life of domesticity and creativity.

It hasn't always been easy. I've made several mistakes along the way: I've taken freelance gigs that seemed too good to be true (and were); I worried about our personal budget, and worried about the "recession". I’ve sacrificed a great deal of independence (financially) so that I may be available to my family whenever and however they need me. I’ve taken “shots” from people who do not believe in “stay at home Moms” or people who’ve tried to convince me that my little baby is good enough to go to daycare. But through it all, despite it all, I'm still here -- and frankly, happier than ever. And it turns out, two years later, there's one very important thing that I've learned, the one thing which, really, I always knew on a subconscious level, but have come to really consciously appreciate:

Intuition is a powerful thing.

In the past year, I've come to the unshakable belief that we have all the answers. Each of us does. That within us, if we just stop and listen, there is enough guidance to let us know whether the path we're about to take is the right one for ourselves. That if we all just take a moment to quiet our minds and listen to our hearts, we'll know exactly what to do.

That the secret to rebirth, to turning into exactly what we're meant to be is to just be still and listen. It's not always easy, but it is possible. It just takes practice. I'm not perfect at it, but I am getting there.

And believe me, if I can do it, so can you.

And to close, here's to learning to listen to our inner voices. May we all become as great as we were all meant to be.

My Wish Today...

I have been blessed with two of the most wonderful children in the world – both boys! And I love them very much. Lately though, I have been craving for a little girl. I don’t know what it is…I’m terrified of being pregnant again, especially now at my age and after having gone through what I did the last time around.

But today, all of those fears weren’t present. I was overcome with emotion as I walked past all these little frilly things for little girls. Somehow I think every mother should have at least one daughter.

My relationship with my mother is amazing! The older I get, the more I understand her. Don’t get me wrong, we fight! Oh do we ever?!!? But I wouldn’t trade my Mom for anything in this world. She and I have a bond that no one can break.

I want a smart, beautiful, compassionate, head strong and inquisitive daughter. I want a daughter who’s a version of me, minus the insecurities. I want a daughter who is me, only more beautiful inside and out. I want a daughter who has my husband’s kind heart and beautiful green eyes.


I want a daughter who can kick ass yet remain refined and poised. I want someone who will challenge me as much as my boys do.

That is my wish today.

I wish to have a chance to get pregnant again, to have a smooth flawless pregnancy, to hear “it’s a girl” nine months down the road.

I simply want a chance to raise a daughter.

But when I get pregnant and it’s a boy – well, that’s ok too.

NYC for the day...

I will write some more tomorrow and post some pics. We spent the day in NYC. MY brother, my sister in law and the two kiddies.

I swear, everytime I visit that place, I fall more and more in love with it. good night and see you all tomorrow!

Happy 2nd Birthday Little One!

2009 brought me...a teenager...and now a 2 year old....Much as I hate to admit it, I'm nervous. I feel nostalgic when birthdays come around. It's hard for me to imagine that two years ago today, my life was hanging on a balance. My first son was at school and my husband was changing duty stations when the doctors came in my room and said the most horrifying words I've ever heard. "We need to take the baby out, you're not gonna make it." I was afraid. All I could do was cry, a lot. Then I prayed, a lot. I was scared for Jordan if I didn't make it. I was scared for my husband because I didn't think I would make it in time. I was scared that I wouldn't have another chance to tell them how much I love them.

Against all odds, my husband made it in the operating room. Two hours and 45 minutes later, I became a Mommy all over again. I was glad that I made it. But my baby was very tiny. Very fragile. This time I cried for him. His prognosis was a bit grim. He only weighed 1 lb., 14 oz. - he fit comfortably in the palm of my hands. I've never seen a baby this tiny in my whole life.

We spent many many nights at the NICU.

We took him home from the hospital 3 months later - and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He was only 4 lbs when he came home but he didn't need any special treatment (oxygen, heart monitor, etc). His doctor said - "He just wanted to come out! He wanted to see the world."
And so the world, we will show him.
Every year he celebrates his birthday, I think of all the doctors and nurses who took very good care of him. And my family who supported me and who continued to pray for all of us while we were going through this. Thank you all.


Happy Birthday Little Man - we went through a lot you and I. You inspire all of us every day. We love you and may you have many many more birthdays to come!

How May I Serve You, my 13-year old Royal Highness

I thank my parents for letting me live. I have recently acquired a teenager!
Happy 13th Birthday Jordan!

Good Day Everyone!

I think I am finally getting the hang of this. I have so much to say but sometimes I just don't know how to say it. I started getting the idea to blog when I found so many sites that I read through all day long - they've inspired me, made me laugh, and have even gotten a few ideas from. Somehow no matter the distance, we all seem to find each other. We as human beings, connect in different forms. I guess I can use this blog as a tool to update my family about the goings on here up North, or I can perhaps use this blog to share my thoughts to someone who might just be searching for something to make them laugh and inspire them. Although, I must warn you, I'm not a good joke teller. My captive audience ranges from ages 2-5...yeah sad I know. Worst yet, most of the time, I am the only one laughing!

So yeah, have fun with this, I know I will. :)

BLOGSPERIENCE

It amazes me that "blogging" is so popular!I've oftened been asked why I blog...and what's the point. The point is simple. I journal (online) because I have something to say. (and writing in a journal hurts my hands...LOL). And what else do I really have to do in my every day life besides taking care of my family, cooking, cleaning, laundry! LOL. I've been writing my every day happenings since I was 16 years old. I have tons of notebooks I've collected over the years. I started journaling for the mere purpose of "letting it all out". Venting out my frustrations so that I may see it before I speak it. I hated saying unkind words and yelling and confrontation. So I wrote everything I could possibly be pissed off about. But then, I find that all I ever write was the bad stuff. I asked myself, what about the good things in your life? Are they not worth writing about....so... I did. So for those who have asked me...WHY DO YOU BLOG? Here it is.I journal to remind myself of the good stuff in my life. I journal to count my blessings, to celebrate what's working, to remember where the color is, where the joy is, who I love, what I'm learning. I journal to work out the tough stuff, to feel less alone and exorcise the demons. I journal to make an offering of my life. I journal so that someone else might feel less alone or be inspired or feel connected.I journal to feel connected.I journal to share myself and my life. I journal because I want to create a habit of celebrating. I journal to remind myself and others that the world is full of beauty, often tucked away in the most ordinary and unlikely places.I journal to remind myself that there is beauty everywhere.I journal because it helps me to practice seeing.